Time: The Measure of One's Life

Time, that most precious commodity that cannot be regained once spent. We have so many expressions regarding time, and think somehow we control it. Ah, but time inexorably moves on, whether we mark it or not.
Let's save time. Now, how do we do that? We drive faster, do our work faster, and push ourselves harder. Do we REALLY SAVE time. Nay nay I say: we're not making time, either. Hmmm -- so what is the purpose of rushing anything in life? Why are we always running to the "next important thing" instead of enjoying THIS moment, THIS TIME?

Isn't that a novel concept? Let's enjoy being in the moment! Forget about yesterday, don't worry about tomorrow. Take the idea of time to the smallest degree, so put it into seconds or even nano-seconds. Forget about one second ago; don't worry about one second from now. Does that seem at all possible? To squeeze every single reaction, feeling, sensation and desire into and out of every single second in life?

I am fearful that that would only make life boring because we'd be so wrapped up in the seconds, we'd forget about the primaries, the firsts in our lives. Ah, there I go with the word play again. I love playing with words, their meanings, their sounds, and the concepts behind them. We need to focus on the larger points in time in order to better enjoy the seconds, don't you agree? How can I enjoy THIS second if I have no idea where it is leading me? If I have no plan, or organization, no way of marking what I am doing, what is the point of it? Where do I go each next second that follows the first one?

No, I'm afraid that I need to consider a longer picture of time. Perhaps I can take the proverbial ten-year slice out of my life. Now I can look back and decide that those ten years stretch a long way, with so many lessons learned, full of naiveté, believing in family love, and trying so hard to keep my family together. What good did that do? Dad died, as is the way with us humans when we wear out. Then my sister left because she couldn‘t handle some things that were happening in our lives. That's all I can say about my loss of her; other than it was awful, and I'm glad she's still alive.

I almost reached the end of my time after Dad died because we discovered I had ovarian cancer. Oooh, NOT a good time for me. I had barely scattered Dad's ashes when I went back for a follow up appointment to discuss my "kidney stone" and what we were going to do about it. Well, time to tell me I didn't have a kidney stone that needed anything done about it. I had a massive tumour growing inside of me. Cool -- about time I knew what that big gut was all about . . . I HAD been losing weight, so wonder why I didn't look too well, or even feel well.

I thought, at the time, that it was the usual stress of an dying parent who then met his ultimate fate. Nope, not this time!