Perceptions and Realtiy

"Suffering arises when you want things to be different than they are. Things can never be different than they are. What can be different is the meaning you give to what happens. You can't change what happens, but you can change what you think it means."

I'm uncertain I'm ready to believe that statement. At first blush, it seems good, but upon pondering it further, there is a part of me that rebels against the thought that I cannot change things, or if I try that I will suffer.

I intrinsically believe that perception and understanding helps us change how we feel about things. But, I also believe that I have many opportunities to make things change. Really small actions can generate really big differences. I can pick garbage up and put it in the barrels at the park, even if it's not my trash. I can recycle articles, using my motto: Reduce, Re-use, Re-purpose and Recycle EVERYTHING!! You'd be amazed at the number of outfits I've sewn from other's clothing, or how I've unravelled sweaters so I can use the wool to make something else, or used a recycled unused hospital door as a countertop. That's not only recycling -- it's frugal too! I can ensure that when MY dog does his business that I clean it up.

I can smile at someone who might need a little recognition that he or she actually exists, and is important just for being alive. I can teach people of all ages and many different subject: from ESL to quilting to zoology and dinosaurs. While I do not have ALL the answers, I can help others learn HOW to get the information, and be with them WHILE they do it if necessary. I can lead people to a happier place if they're willing to follow, just by caring and loving them.

I can be a positive influence on others. If I cannot act in faith that something I say or do will make this world a better place, then WHY AM I HERE?

Do not my actions create my reality? Yes. Do not my perceptions also cause my reality? Yes. Do I have the ability to change things in my own life? Yes. But I need time for quiet reflection upon what is happening, and then time to formulate a plan, and then the energy to enact that plan. In the meantime, I can love myself and others too. Just as we are, warts and all. Actually, that is a phrase my children and I have often used: "I love you just as you are, warts and all." That phrase acknowledges that someone has value, regardless of what they or others may perceive as problems, or even what they have done or not done recently. Hmmm -- I guess it would be based on MY perception of what I've done or not done.

Babies and animals are wonderful examples of how to live life. Accept the moment for whatever it is -- a learning experience, pleasure, happiness, or even pain and sadness. Hungry? Cry -- someone will eventually feed you if you can't do it yourself. Happy? Wag tail. Well, I guess my examples are somewhat flippant and don't totally work in the real world when performed by real people, but you know what I mean. Maybe that's why we're told in the New Testament that we need to become more child-like in order to enter the Kingdom. Children have fewer hangups about what people do. Innocence is wonderful.

But what about that person who is NOT innocent: that person who perpetrates violence on others? Can I accept that person in my life? What if it was one of my own who was that person? I've given a lot of thought to that issue, because I was married to a venomous man, after suffering emotional abuse by my Mom as I was growing up. Who in her right mind stays with an abuser, and what effect will that have on my children? Well, maybe I didn't have a right mind then. Certainly the events that occurred have had long term repercussions for me -- I still fight against PTSD and depression. But then, I've come to accept that those things are PART of who I am -- the staying married even if the marriage was unpleasant; battling PTSD and depression. While I could believe I'm handicapped because of those things, I've come to appreciate the woman I am BECAUSE OF THOSE EVENTS that made me who I am today. I celebrate my ability to grow from those experiences and turn them into a positive influence.

So, while I will agree wholeheartedly that perception makes the difference, I will NOT agree that I cannot change things. I will at least continue trying to make things better in this world, for myself and my progeny!

I just won't let it bother me so much when my actions don't always bring the intended results!!