Life Just Might Be a Rose Garden

I learned a long time ago -- and believe it or not, maybe through my Mom -- the uselessness of the “what if” game. She used to play it on herself, and unfortunately, the tag was, "What if I didn't have you children?" So of course I took it completely the wrong way and felt guilty because I'd personally ruined her life!

Ain't necessarily so!

I learned to live my life DESPITE or TO SPITE any what if's!

I decided that instead of having any what if's in my life, that I'd still go for things and do stuff, maybe at a different age or stage than what one would normally do them, but I'd give life all the gusto I could. I believe that's one of the reasons I have held so many different jobs, and tried so many different volunteer positions and been so many different "people" (worn different hats; basically I've stayed the same person). I've been the earth mother, high-powered executive secretary, school bus driver, wife of the President of a large company with all the requisite duties therein, political pundit, supporter of worthy causes, mover and shaker in the political world in my small hometown, (if anyone wanted something done, they came to me to get it done); I was the penultimate Mom to the whole town of children as they grew up and I always listened to those who needed something -- and gave whatever was needed if I had it to give! I was even the perfect divorcee -- stayed friendly with my ex and his new woman, was strong for my sons, stayed involved in the Church we belonged to, didn't date or anything for a long time, and kept up all the right appearances for the whole works.

Then, I decided to move to Calgary so I could attend University, grow, learn and become even someone else, which I did -- in a far greater way than I ever imagined I would, in fact. It was an amazing journey of 16 years there, and I'm not going into the details here, but I made up for some of those "What if's" of my earlier life! Big-time! Had a ball, but worked bloody hard too: excellent grades even though I worked at night, took care of my children and terminally ill Mom during the days as well as taking University courses. Trust me, my life was FULL! There were NEVER enough hours in the day! NEVER!!

In fact, I joked about wanting to go to the metric minute, hour and day, etc.: 100 seconds to a minute, 100 minutes to an hour, 20 hours to a day, and 20 days to a week, and 100 weeks to a season. That meant dropping winter, but that would have been fine with me!!! LOL!

So, I've lived a very full, interesting, and WOW life. My only what if now is WHAT IF I'd not worn myself out quite so much? Maybe I'd have a little more energy to sustain me through this time of my life. Ah, that's another question/concern for another time!! LOL! I'll survive this and grow into an even better me as I overcome this whole physical trial thing!

WHAT'S holding YOU back now from trying something new, interesting or exciting now? Why don't you experiment, experience something different? I've actually dabbled in the public art forum myself using my quilting as my media. It is a fabulous community -- all kinds of wonderful artisans are out there, trust me. The Women Artists I became involved with accepted ALL media -- from canvas to charcoal to fabric to even one woman who used, and recycled, garbage. It was wonderful to work together occasionally, and talk together and BE together in that community. Some of my most favourite memories are of all of us together for a year, working on a project for International Women's Day, where we each creatively put a piece together to celebrate the woman who influenced us most in our lives. Guess what? Most of us, myself included, did something to honour our Moms!

The works were actually either photographed, or in some other way put into a collage so we could quilt them together and use the quilt as one of the pieces that we displayed, as well as all the individual pieces being shown. One of the women artists had drawn pictures of us as we'd sat there in meetings discussing what we were going to do, or as we were doing our artwork, and it was amazing the way she connected us -- weaving us together. We were twenty or so women of varying ages, talents and interests, using different media to honour the women in our lives, and this artist connected us with each other, also managing to put some of our conversations into the drawings in the form of pictures, and drew our grandmothers and past generations into her work. It was so amazing, and so wonderful to be part of that work and community.

That was my long way of telling you that you don't have to be a professional at any specific thing to get a whole lot out of being involved with any community that works in your fields of interest. Look into itl, because it may help you decide to go further into your field of interest. Look into other areas of interest, even if you had already thought of it before but pushed it aside for SOME now unknown reason.

That would be one What If that you can explore. Some artisans don't even come into their own specialty until they're well into their senior years -- so don't fuss about ageism!!

I think we shouldn't be afraid to examine our What if's, so I hope you don't mind what I've suggested. I encourage you to look at some of those What if's from your past and present. Re-write them into something that you might just be able to answer now in a new and creative way. Or, if not, don't worry about it. It might be time to put those what if's away, because you have so much more in your life because of the way you have chosen to live.

All of our life's experiences, good AND bad, go into making us the creatures we are today. Bad experiences can make us good people, strange as that may sound: you have more understanding and compassion for others because of what you have grown through, even though you have not walked the same path anyone else did. Each of us has a unique path to walk, set especially for us to learn what we need to learn. However, I may have a glimpse of the sadness, loss and hurt you have experienced because of what I grew through, so I can empathize with you because of my life's experiences, as can you with me.

Let's face it, there never was a Norman Rockwell family life. If we were to put any single family's life under the microscope, it would come up as dysfunctional. Or if we x-rayed the people in the family, we’d likely see many broken bones from various heartaches and disappointments. But, that is part of what we as humans are here to learn to handle.

We were never promised a rose garden: or maybe we were and we forgot that rose gardens also have those pricklies and hurts in them, and weeds and bee stings, and some other not so wonderful things in them. There's even mildew and rose rot there to be honest! But, if we tend those gardens, beautiful roses can grow there too.

That's what we need to do with our lives -- tend them as best as we can so we can grow into the gorgeous, radiant roses we know we are! And sometimes manure is the best antidote for anything! LOL!

That's life in the rose garden. Hugs! I’m off now: weeding and feeding!